Brandon&hellip,.. I have fucked my share of girls, but nothing like Mel. I couldnt tell my buddies what luck I was having, theyd all be over her wanting to fuck Mel and Jan&hellip,so I just kept my mouth shut. Jan was a hot copy of Mel but well seasoned and horny as hell. We exchanged hugs and feels in their hallway, I thought she was going to faint. I loved to do a quick sneak and run my hand down her panties and watch her eyes close and I think she orgasmed right there. She would start humping my fingers and moan quietly. She would grab my hardon and squeeze it hard, then tremble. It was time to get her in bed and us really get it on. Mel brought it up first and ask me to have sex with her mom. Lady luck is smiling on me. A hot daughter and her hot mom&hellip,.I couldnt hardly believe the luck I was having. Mel told me&hellip,Tonight Brandon, do her tonight.. Now how could I turn that down&hellip, It was all set to happen in their big bed. I came over and the house was dimly. Let’s start with the story arc. I think you could begin with something more dramatic that draws the reader into the story more rapidly. It’s the third page before we have a clue that they are boarding a spaceship. Lead with it. Even a simple a sentence of thought from the main character that said, ‘I took one last look at the earth before I boarded for my journey to the stars.’ Something that immediately sets the scene. Then you can deal with the weight of his baggage, the nods to people he knew and worked with, and the scurry of preparing his room and meeting his neighbors. The way it reads at the moment, he might be arriving on campus for his second year of college. Once you got past the slightly awkward opening, though, the story arc took shape in a well-defined progression of events that made life on the spaceship reasonable and believable if the reader is capable of believing science fiction at all. Some readers aren’t, you know.”“I’ve met a few,” I nodded.“Now the character arc.
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